CINDERELLA AND 3 HAZEL-NUTS
SSOŠ Via Humana, Mallého 2, Skalica
(author : Mgr.Jana Obuchová and students)
Narrator : Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom of Via Humana, there lived a girl named Cinderella. Cinderella was kind, smart and beautiful. When she was very young, she had a happy life. Then, one day, her mother passed away.
Cinderella : Mum, where is daddy? It´s getting dark and he hasn´t come home yet.
Mother : Don´t worry. He´ll be back in a minute. See?
Father : Hello my sweethearts!
Cinderella, mother : Hi daddy! Hello
Father : Sorry, I´m late but I was trying to find the best present for your birthday. And as you wished to get something that makes you sexy, I have a special present for you. Here we are.
Mother : Rum?
Father : Yeah. It was a discount. The more I drink it, the more sexy you will be.
Mother : Idiot! Don´t think that you will finish the whole bottle. Give it to me! I want to see sexy man, too. ….. Oh, Jesus! It´s strong.
Father : come on! Don´t be a mouse!
Father : Hm, she is not sexy at all. There must be something wrong. Either the drink is too weak or my tolerance is too strong.
Cinderella : Oh, daddy. We have to call a doctor!
Father : Doctor!
Doctor : Hi hello! What´s up, man?
Father : She has just a sip of this and now she´s as dead as Lenin. What´s happened?
Doctor : Oh, yeah. It´s clear as sky.
Father : So?
Doctor : Methanol, what else?
Narrator : Cinderella´s father married again. He fell in love with Brandy. It was a love at the second sight. The first time he didn´t know she had money.
Priest : Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
Do you, Tommy Dear, son of your father, take this woman, Brandy Mitchell, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?
Father : Sorry? I wasn´t listening. You know, it was too long. What did you say?
Priest : Do you take Brandy for the rest of your life?
Brandy : Yes! Of course, he does!
Priest : Do you, Brandy Mitchell, daughter of your mother, take this man to be your husband for the rest of your life?
Step-mother : Yes, I do.
Priest : By the power of God, I pronounce you man and wife.
Narrator : Brandy had one daughter of her own – Dora. Cinderella´s step-mother and step-sister were not very kind to her. They made Cinderella a servant in her own home. Cinderella had to get up early every morning and spend each day doing various kinds of housework.
Mother : Have you finished cooking?!
Cinderella : Yes, I have.
Mother : So, stop staring and sweep up properly!
Father : Hello everybody! I´m back!
Step-mother : Jesus Christ! Where have you been?!
Father : I was in the city to do some business and I have presents for you! Look! Here is Oriflame.
And a flower for my darling. Cinderella, I have also something for you, something really special.
Cinderella : Cif?
Father : It makes you a real princess.
But that´s not all! I have something else! Look! Three hazel-nuts!
Cinderella : Thank you daddy.
Father : Oh, I forgot. Here, instructions!
Step-mother : What is it? Show me! What a present! Like for a squirrel!
Narrator : The head of the kingdom was a smart king Roderiko 21st and his wife Queen Androdena Mira. They had a really good-looking but not so smart son, Prince Charming. Prince was 20 and still single so they decided to marry him.
Queen : Prince, where have you been? I and your father have been just talking about you!
King : Your mother was talking, I was listening.
Queen : Oh, come on!
Prince : All right, what´s going on?
Queen : We just want to put a few friends together, nothing formal, just family, friends, honorable guests and all the available young ladies in the kingdom.
Prince : Mother! You can´t keep doing this to me!
Queen : What! You must get married! The kingdom will be soon yours!
King : Not that soon!
Queen : A man is incomplete until he´s married.
King : And then he´s finished.
Queen : Hey!
King : Seriously, I love being married. I was single for a long time and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.
Prince : But I don´t want to get married.
Queen : Courtship is like looking at the pictures in a seed catalogue. Marriage is what comes up in your garden.
Prince : Come on, mum. You know I don´t like gardening!
Narrator : Royal servant came to announce the ball to the people living in the kingdom.
James : Your beer and music-loving supervisors, His Royal Highness, King Roderiko 21st
And Her Royal Majesty, Queen Androdena Mira, have paired with Penta Group to put together the only and the best combination beer and music ball around. It´s the third annual Beer Ball and 2014 is going to be the best year yet. And do not forget, a truly handsome Prince Charming is looking forward to all young ladies who are crazy about getting married with him.
Narrator : When Cinderella´s step-mother heard of the ball, she was so excited. She was getting ready for the ball with her own daughter Dora. When the day of the ball came, they made such a fuss.
Step-mother : Pass the buttons, Cinderella!
Dora : Cinderella, the silver thread!
Step-mother : My shoes!
Dora : Do you like my dress?
Cinderella : It´s beautiful.
Dora : Would you like to come to the ball with us? Say, would you?
Cinderella : I know you wouldn´t take me inside. But could I just have a peep through the window?
Step-mother : And who will be cleaning here?
Cinderella : I´d get it all done by morning.
Step-mother : OK. If you haven´t enough to do – here you are The lentils picked from the corn!
Dora : Tomorrow, I will tell you how many times I danced with Prince. Čao!
Cinderella : Oh, I forgot. I have 3 hazel nuts! And instructions!
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Wow! You are a magic Fairy!
Magic Fairy : Yes, it´s me! Listen, you have a problem, don´t you?
Cinderella : Yes. I would like to go to the ball to see the Prince, but I have no clothes, no shoes and this dreadful work to do.
Magic Fairy : Don´t worry! I´ve been shopping. Here is a dress, shoes and the lentils and a corn.
Cinderella : Thanks a lot!
Magic Fairy : But remember to be back before the clock strikes midnight!
Cinderella : Yes, I will. But why?
Magic Fairy : I have no clue. I was told to say that.
Cinderella : Oh
Narrator : The ball was the biggest social event of the year. All honorable guest and available ladies came to dance with Prince.
James : Her Majesty, Queen Androdena Mira, His Royal Highness, King Roderiko 21st and Prince Charming, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the royal ball! Dear Prince Charming, let me introduce you the candidates for the wedding ceremony.
The noble lady of the Black Forest
Lady of Dutch Forest with daughters Dora
Lord of Longwood with son Georgina
James : And now His Highness Prince Charming asks you to dance. Music!
King : Out of breath? I´ll, have them play something faster.
Prince : Whatever. I´ve finished dancing!
King : Go back and dance!
Prince : I´d rather cut the trees!
King : All right. Start now! James!
Cinderella : Good evening your Highness. Thank you for a wonderful welcome.
Prince : I …………. You ……… I´m sorry. James! Take it!
Cinderella : I thought you were running out to meet me.
Prince : No, I was just running out …
Cinderella : In that case I shan´t keep you.
Prince : No! I just want to say, you surprised me! May I have the pleasure?
Prince : Bolt! Bolt!
Bolt : His Royal Highness?
Prince : Catch her!
James! My gun!
Oh, Jesus Mary!
King : What shall we do?
Queen : James, tell us a joke!
James : OK. So, do you know what´s the difference between a fish and a bicycle?
Prince : No.
James : They can both swim, except for the bicycle. Ha-ha.
Bolt : I´m sorry. She was faster. But I got this.
Prince : A slipper?! James! Do something with that smell!
Thank you James. I have nothing but this slipper. Never mind. I will find her tomorrow.
Narrator : The Prince Charming was so excited to find his true love that he couldn´t even sleep. He couldn´t wait till the next morning to start his hunt. The very next morning his royal servant James, managed to find all possible candidates for the throne.
James : His highness, here are all single ladies from the kingdom. They are willing to do anything with you.
Prince : Oh, James! You are thinking only about sex. I´m looking for a true love!
Hello ladies! The girl whom this slipper fits will be my wife!
Your foot. Next! Next! Oh, James, I told you, only women! Next! It fits! I found you! What your name, beauty?
Cinderella : Cinderella.
Prince : Cinderella, My heart is beating only for you.
Cinderella : Really?
Prince : Yes, you and hunting, shooting, clubbing, pubbing, …. And horses!
Cinderella : Oh.
Prince : But not those silly carthorses …. Race horses!
Cinderella : Oh.
Prince : So, will you marry me?
Cinderella : But you don´t know nothing about my childhood, my addictions and other sins.
Prince : Who cares?! If you marry me, I will inherit the whole kingdom and we will be filthy rich and careless.
Cinderella : Oh, you are right. Let´s get married!
James : Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
· Prince Charming and Cinderella had a wonderful wedding. It was the second biggest social event in the kingdom.
· They went on honeymoon to Egypt where prince wanted to sell Cinderella for a few dollars to please some Muslim guys.
· Their first child didn´t look like prince at all. They named him Ala Mohamed.
· A year passed and the twins Cindy and Rella were born.
· And the happy family lived happily ever after.